Shinji,Rinse,Repeat
by AngelDragon
Summary: 'If you love someone,set them free.If they return to you,it was meant to be...'Shinji gets a second chance w/Kaworu in this A/U fic(K&S shonen-ai,language)


"Shinji, Rinse, Repeat" an Eva fic by AngelDragon  
  
This is the first Kaworu & Shinji fic I've written in a long time, so hopefully I've still got it in me to write for my favorite gray-haired angel and his koibito. I started writing this (in a tablet) on April 4'th 2003, finished it on April 15'th 2003. This is an A/U story, rated 'R' for a reason, mostly because of shounen-ai themes, language and the fact that Shinji has a bit of a shota (younger boy) complex, so you've been warned. Please don't flame me, it's rather rude, don't you think? If you don't like the theme, then don't read. Hmm, these: blah are thoughts, just so you know.  
  
This is sort of dedicated to my friends Ian and Greg, who liked the drawing I did of Kaworu-chan to accompany this story. And of course, May and Koneko, just for being you. Thanks guys, really! (hugs for you all) And of course, I don't own Eva or the characters, just this strange story. Anyway, enjoy the fic..  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Shinji sat in the near darkness of his room, lost among his thoughts, headphones in his ears. Such a small thing, a song. But like a picture, it can be worth a thousand words.. or thoughts, as the case may be. The song he'd been listening to faded out and the next slowly started up, one he knew so well by now. As it reached the crescendo, he felt a few hot tears slide down his cheeks, just like usual whenever he heard that song these days.  
  
Why couldn't he have just killed me? Why didn't I let him? Why did he have to be so damn likeable? He pulled a blanket around him, snuggling into the corner on his bed. It's cold.. I'm cold It wasn't long before he fell asleep, dreams of a light hand resting over his own, steamy air surrounding them, keeping him warm.  
  
The next day he reluctantly dragged himself out of bed, showered, changed and decided he wanted to walk, wherever his feet took him, just to clear his mind. The sadness he could deal with, the loneliness too. But the emptiness inside.. That got to him sometimes and he just needed to get away for a while. So he would walk until he felt neutral again, then come back home. He didn't go to school anymore, couldn't take the whispering and giggling from his classmates or their stares, so he just quit. Misato gave up and just let him be, bringing him more groceries when he was out and checked on him from time to time. I can't even kill myself.. I'm such a chicken shit..  
  
Shinji walked for quite a while, keeping to himself as he passed under the wilting trees in the scorching heat on the sidewalks, blending in like he wanted. He didn't know where he was headed, just giving in to a feeling he had and was surprised to feel the crunch of glass and gravel underfoot suddenly. Looking up, squinting in the sun with a hand over his eyes, he saw the ruins of a vaguely familiar set of huge buildings. It was so quiet he could hear a slight wind whistling around and the drawn out drone of the cicadas that were unnaturally present all the time now. Why am I here? What was this place?  
  
Having nothing better to do, Shinji explored the remains, moving into the inviting shade. Going deeper and deeper, he found a staircase leading down and followed it, sneakers slapping on the metal steps as he went, knocking aside pebbles and old dust settled there. Keeping one hand on the wall so as not to fall, he reached the end, feeling his fingers brush over a switch, clicking it on. A couple fluorescent lights, half hanging from the ceiling, weakly sputtered to life. Shinji could just make out the massive collapses in the room; crumbling walls, busted machinery, shattered glass everywhere, pipes, wires, ductwork hanging from the ceiling. The life support of a structure, not supporting much anymore, unless you counted rats, birds and insects.  
  
He noticed a sort of glowing coming from the back behind a leaning, twisted metal shelf system and some other rubble shoved into a corner so he climbed over and around things to reach it. He cleared as much of it away as he could, curious now and puzzled by what he saw. It was an odd contraption, like something from a sci-fi movie; a sort of pod-thing was the only image that came to Shinji's mind. He ran his hands over it, almost believing he was just seeing things. It's.. warm. And.. humming? Wiping off some of the thick dust, he could barely see the dark, human-like shape inside.  
  
O-oh.. Is it.. a mummy? He'd thought the buildings were maybe a museum or lab that got demolished in an Angel attack as he'd wandered the few standing rooms, seeing counters, busted microscopes, vials, little metal tools and scorched computers and papers scattered among the usual rock and twisted rebar. Leaning in to get a closer look, his hand slipped from the domed surface and hit a pad of buttons on a little shelf protruding from the 'pod'. There were a few beeps and a hiss as it cracked open, startling the poor boy and causing him to fall backwards over a corner of the metal debris on his butt. Watching nervously, he saw the lid rise in the wake of a small cloud of steam and the illumination shifted to lighten the inside of the 'pod'.  
  
Warily, Shinji pulled himself up and slowly leaned in again to see what the 'mummy' looked like. But it certainly wasn't quite what he expected..  
  
He saw a young boy, maybe ten or a little younger in appearance, lying there, nestled inside the fluid filled center of the thing, with a clear plastic mask over his mouth and nose. The little one was naked, little patches that had wires attached placed on various points of his body. That was shocking, true, but not what drew Shinji's immediate attention so that he nearly couldn't breathe, heart skipping a beat or two. The boy looked like he was just sleeping, a shock of gray hair lightly floating around his head. W-who is this kid? What's he doing here? Is he.. alive?  
  
Shinji reached out a shaky hand to touch the boy's chest through the warm liquid, jumping a bit when he felt it rise and fall. I shouldn't.. I want to help him.. Looking around instinctively first, he gently pulled the soaked sleeper up to a sitting position, supporting his light, limp weight with one arm while pulling the mask from him. As he felt around to pull the patches off too, he heard a soft sigh and looked over to see him stir and yawn before opening large red eyes to stare sleepily at him. Shinji was taken aback but never let go.  
  
"H-how are you?" he asked softly.  
  
"Hungry.." the boy replied quietly, weakly wiping at his eyes. "Who are you, oniisan?"  
  
That voice.. so close. If it were just a bit deeper.. "I'm Shinji. Do you have a name, little guy?" The boy was quiet for a moment, thinking maybe, before looking confused and sad. "No.." The light in the 'pod' dimmed and faded out, the humming shutting off with it. Soon, the boy began to shiver, trying to curl his legs up to his chest as Shinji supported his back. "'niisan.. I'm cold. And hungry.."  
  
Shinji felt the sting of tears again as he brushed aside the wet gray bangs. "You.. need a name first.." The boy looked up at him with a small smile that made Shinji's eyes widen. For a moment he was back in Unit 01, staring into the face of his first love, clutched tight like a rose in his Eva's massive grip. A small, pained noise escaped him, causing the boy to look at him curiously. "Oniisan?"  
  
"It's okay.. I know what your name is now: Kaworu. Do you like it?" The little one smiled wider and leaned his head and shoulder against Shinji's chest, Shinji hugging him close. "Yes," he said as Shinji thought it at the same time. "Come home with me?" Kaworu murmured 'yes' while he shivered and Shinji dared to smile for the first time in months. "Let's get you dried off.. Kaworu-chan."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
After rummaging through what cabinets and drawers he could find, reassuring Kaworu that he'd be right back, Shinji returned to the room with a set of blue surgical scrubs and a couple white lab coats. Kaworu watched him quietly as he cleared off a slab of fallen wall, then spread out one of the coats on it, setting the rest aside. He came over to carefully lift the boy from the liquid and sit him down on the laid out coat before drying him off with the other one as best as he could.  
  
Then he helped him into the scrubs, Kaworu laughing a little as he kicked his legs, flapping the too-big pant legs. Shinji smiled at him. "Yeah, I suppose they're a little big for you right now, huh?" He bent over to roll them up so they were above his feet and tied the waistband's drawstrings snug. "Think you can stand?" Kaworu nodded and got up on his feet on the wall to face Shinji. The shirt hung loosely off his skinny shoulders, the normally short sleeves now elbow length and the bottom of it down nearly to his knees. "Well, this'll have to do until we get home.."  
  
Shinji carried Kaworu out of the ruins with the boy's arms around his neck and his legs hooked over his arms from behind. When they came out into the sun though, Kaworu whimpered and hid his eyes against Shinji's neck. "Oh, sorry! I should've warned you about how bright it would be." Shinji squinted a little himself, letting his eyes adjust before heading out. He decided to take a slightly different route so as not to attract too much attention and made it back to his small apartment that Misato had arranged for him to have without any trouble.  
  
He knelt down by a chair in the tiny kitchen so Kaworu could get down and went to the fridge when he felt his arms release from his neck. Pouring a couple glasses of cold juice for them both, he joined him at the table, watching as he sipped his drink. While Kaworu drank he looked around, eyes wide, taking in everything he saw. Shinji still couldn't believe his own eyes. Where did he come from? Could he really be?..  
  
"Hey, um, do you.. Do you have anyone looking for you?" Kaworu looked over at him, a slight juice mustache on his lip. "I don't understand, 'niisan.." he said with a puzzled look.  
  
"I mean, any family or an okaasan or otoosan. Anybody like that? Do you live somewhere with someone?" Why am I trying so hard to get rid of him?  
  
"I live with you now, 'niisan. I don't know anybody else.."  
  
Shinji sighed inwardly with relief. "So, do you want to stay? I'll, um, take care of you, okay? I promise." Kaworu finished his juice, carefully setting the big glass down in the intensely focused way children have, so he wouldn't drop it. "Oniisan, can I ask you something?"  
  
"Anything, Kaworu-chan."  
  
"Can we eat now?"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
It was mid-afternoon now and Shinji made lunch for them, thanks to the electric rice cooker and recent food Misato had given him. Soon they were enjoying rice, instant miso soup and some heated vegetable and meat mixture. Shinji had to teach Kaworu how to use a pair of chopsticks, in the end having to feed him a little when he didn't quite catch on. After lunch he felt tired so Shinji suggested a nap. Holding Shinji's hand, he wobbled after him to the bedroom, yawning all the way.  
  
After Shinji turned down the soft quilt, his new young companion climbed into bed, Shinji following after changing into a tank top and shorts, tossing his other clothes in the hamper. He cuddled up with the boy, pulling the blanket over them and putting a protective arm around his waist, feeling pretty tired himself.  
  
"Warm enough?" he yawned. "Uh huh.." Kaworu said softly.  
  
"Good. Oyasumi, Kaworu-chan," Shinji said, closing his eyes as they fell asleep together in the shady bedroom, the humming of a small fan lulling them along..  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Shinji dreamt strange things, vague shadows and lights, a feeling of warmth alternating with cold, then the sensations of falling followed by sudden impact that caused him to wake with a start. He sat up in bed breathing hard, not quite awake. Weird.. Oh well He checked to see that Kaworu wasn't woken up before hitting the bathroom and going out to the other room to watch TV for a while..  
  
After dinner came bath time, Shinji scrubbing them both off well, the two of them flinging soap bubbles at each other and laughing before rinsing off and sharing the small bathtub of hot water. Shinji leaned back as he sat, arm on the edge while Kaworu, facing him, played with a washcloth, watching the air bubbles he made with it. Smiling, Shinji set the sponge on the edge. "Is it too hot for you yet?" The boy shook his head, gathering more air in the cloth. With a slightly playful smirk, Shinji flipped some water at Kaworu who yelped and splashed more back at him, Shinji wiping his eyes and saying, "Hey!"  
  
Shinji sent more water at the giggling boy, who noticed the sponge had gotten knocked off in their playing. "I'll get it!" he said, moving up out of the tub to reach for it, accidentally smashing Shinji's hand against the edge as he did. Shinji jerked in surprise as he got a sudden mental flash; another shared bath, another hand over his own and a declaration of love and sympathy that had made him blush, his face as hot as the water they were in.. and the gentle kisses that had happened soon after.. "'niisan?"  
  
Blinking, Shinji fell back into reality. "Oniisan? I-I'm sorry, please don't be mad!" He looked at the boy who clutched the sea sponge in both hands, a look of apprehension on his pale face as he sank down so his mouth was under the water. A little bubble escaped Kaworu's mouth after he did so, making Shinji smile at the comedy of it. "It's okay. I'm not mad, it was just a little accident." He put a hand under Kaworu's chin and gently drew him up again. "You can sit up, don't be afraid of me." Relieved, the little one smiled again, looking up at him with those achingly red eyes.  
  
"Okay, I won't! I love you, oniisan Shinji!"  
  
Full of conflicting emotions, Shinji didn't know what to say to that, a memory echoing through his mind. 'I'm saying I love you..' Heart in his throat, pulse thudding in his chest, Shinji stared at the face he held in his hand, slowly leaning towards it; Kaworu puzzled then with wide eyes as Shinji gave him a small kiss on the cheek after hesitating for a moment near his mouth. Pulling back then, Shinji leaned back again, running a hand down his face as he forced himself to calm down. Wetting his scruffy gray hair with the big sponge, Kaworu looked at Shinji with concern. "Are you okay, 'niisan?"  
  
"Yeah.. I'm okay.. I think it's time to get out now, Kaworu," Shinji said, sighing as he stood up. "Oh.. 'niisan, what happened to you?" Kaworu asked, pointing at Shinji, who was so embarrassed he nearly slipped big time as he got out of the tub. Oh man, this is awkward..  
  
"It's, uh, it's just something that happens to us guys sometimes, that's all. I'm still okay." His face still red, Shinji helped Kaworu out of the tub and dried them both off. Back in the bedroom now, Shinji rooted around in his drawers while Kaworu watched. "Hang on, I'll find something clean for you to sleep in.." Shinji pulled a t-shirt of his on over Kaworu's head, helping him find the sleeves, then pulled on a shirt and shorts, himself. The shirt was still big for Kaworu, coming down to around mid- thigh on him.  
  
Turning down the bed again, Shinji caught the boy looking at himself in the mirror on the bathroom door, twirling around and lightly laughing. Rolling his eyes, Shinji called, "C'mon Kaworu, time for bed.." The little one bounced into bed, Shinji tickling him to get him to lie down before turning out the lights and snuggling in close, both clean and happy as they fell asleep that night.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The next morning Shinji woke to the sound of knocking. He got up, carefully disentangling himself from Kaworu who merely groaned and went further under the covers. Shinji scratched at his back, yawning as he drifted to the door. "Whozit?" he mumbled, half asleep. "It's me, Misato. C'mon, open up!" Shinji was wide awake now. Oh Kami, not now! He tried to think of an excuse. "Uh, now's not a good time Misato, I'm, um, still pretty tired and I don't feel well.." As soon as the words were out of his mouth he cringed. Baka! That'll just make her want to come in more!  
  
"Oh? Well let me in so I can see how you are, okay? I want to know if you need a doctor." Shinji sighed. "Right.. Okay then, c'mon in.." Misato instantly felt his forehead and looked him in the eye. "You don't look very sick, just tired." Her skeptical look softened and she bit at her lower lip. "Let's talk a bit.."  
  
They went to sit at the table, Shinji offering her a can of coffee. It was quiet for a few moments, Misato staring into the can between sips, Shinji looking at his water glass before Misato broke the silence.  
  
"You're not sleeping well again, aren't you?" Shinji blinked. "Yeah.. But I'm starting to feel a little better now.." They talked for a little while, mostly about little things, like if Misato was going to get that new car or if Shinji thought about talking to someone. As she was about to wrap it up and leave, satisfied that Shinji wasn't going to off himself, the bedroom door opened.  
  
"'niisan, 'm thirsty.." the small, soft voice called as its owner padded out, rubbing his eyes and scratching at his head. Misato stared, gaping, at the sight of the boy in the over sized t-shirt and nothing else; Shinji groaned and put his head down a minute. Great. Now the shit will hit the fan.. Misato tried to say something but couldn't get past the word 'what' and Kaworu yawned widely and stretched, t-shirt nearly revealing too much. "Who's that? Is it oneesan?"  
  
Misato tried again, this time managing, "Shinji, what?" and Shinji looked at the boy. "This is my friend, Misato, Kaworu. So yes, I guess she's your 'neesan." The poor woman nearly fell out of her chair before getting it together. "Shinji, what the HELL?!" Nervous, Shinji tried to calm her down. "Relax Misato, please? You're scaring him!" Kaworu looked warily between them. "I'M scaring HIM?! What about ME?!"  
  
"I'm sorry, oniisan.. Is oneesan thirsty? I'll get the juice, I know where it is," Kaworu said brightly, starting to head for the kitchen but Shinji put a hand on his arm. "Don't worry, I'll get her a drink. But I've gotta talk to 'neesan alone now, okay? Could you go back in the bedroom for a bit? I'll come get you when we're done." Puzzled, the boy nodded. "Okay. I'll go lie down again." He went to their room, sliding the door shut behind him. When he was gone, Misato started in on Shinji.  
  
"Boy, what the HELL is going on here?! What is he doing here?! How is he still alive?!"  
  
Panicky, Shinji waved Misato down. "Misato! Keep your voice down, please?! He doesn't know!" he hissed. Misato gave him a dangerous look. "How do you know? He was deceptive before.." Shinji felt his throat tighten. "I just know.. And.. and he wasn't as bad as you thought.." He looked down again, then explained everything..  
  
When he was through, Misato was stunned. I had no idea.. Shinji looked up at her, almost pleading. "So now you know.. And you know why I can't let him go.." Misato closed her eyes, leaning back in her chair. "Do I even have to mention how many levels this is wrong on? What'll you do now?"  
  
"I'll.. take care of him, like I promised. And we'll start over, I guess. He can't be.. what he was before, right? Please don't take him away from me, I can't lose him again!" Misato sighed. He sounds so pathetic.. But I can sorta understand. A little "Okay, I won't. Only the two of us will know where he really came from. But don't do anything too stupid, alright? I know you're both still kids and all, but still.."  
  
"I know, don't worry. Thank you.."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, no prob." Thinking a moment, Misato added. "You know something? He's gonna need some clothes." It was Shinji's turn to nearly hit the floor. "Eheheh.. Didn't think that far yet.." He brought Kaworu back from the bedroom, holding his hand. He pulled his chair out more to sit facing Misato with Kaworu on his lap. Kaworu stared at Misato, giving her a small smile. "Oneesan Misato is very pretty," he said, reaching forward to touch her long hair, Shinji holding his waist so he wouldn't fall.  
  
Misato blinked, unsure of how to react to the impossible boy stroking her hair. "Uh, t-thank you.."  
  
"Will you stay for breakfast? 'Niisan wants to make pancakes!" Then Kaworu looked sad. "Oh.. You used to have breakfast with Kaji-san.. I'm sorry. You're sad because he's gone now.."  
  
Misato and Shinji's eyes widened and Misato stood up quickly, chair squeaking against the tile as she did. "H-how did you?.. You couldn't possibly.. How?!" Kaworu pulled back. "I felt it, when I touched you.. You were thinking a lot about breakfast.."  
  
"Unreal.. Totally unreal.." She shook her head. "Shinji?"  
  
"B-but this is the first I knew about this! Misato?!" He held Kaworu tight. "Relax. It's okay. A little sudden, but okay. I'll, um, go get him some clothes, alright? Ja ne.." She let herself out, almost in a daze. Shinji sighed, resting his head against Kaworu's. "Kaworu-chan, what am I gonna do with you?"  
  
"Fix pancakes with me!"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
While they washed the dishes, Kaworu sitting on the counter to dry, Shinji was unsure of how to bring up the thought rolling around in his head. He'd never been very good at sharing them, unless backed into a corner. And even then, he tended to trip over them, coming across as much more spineless than he really was. But around Kaworu, he'd felt more relaxed, like there wasn't a need to avoid being close or touched. "Oniisan?" Shinji blinked, coming out of his thoughts again.  
  
"Huh? What's wrong?"  
  
"Could I dry that now?" Shinji looked down. He'd been rinsing the same plate for a couple minutes. He handed it to Kaworu before emptying the sink and putting their dishes away. He leaned against the counter near Kaworu. "Kaworu, do you know why you could know about Misato's thoughts like that?" The boy thought about that a moment. "No.. I don't.."  
  
Now came the difficult part. "Do you think you could do that with mine?"  
  
"I'll try.." Shinji stood in front of him and Kaworu stroked his dark hair like he'd done with Misato, staring into Shinji's deep blue eyes. "Let me.. see.." Shinji was almost embarrassed to admit to liking the feeling of that small hand over his hair.  
  
"You feel happy, really happy.. About.. me? But it's different.. Warmer." Shinji pulled Kaworu's hand away before the boy could see something he wouldn't understand. "That's fine Kaworu, thanks."  
  
"But what does it mean? It was me.. but different.." Kaworu looked at Shinji, hoping for an answer. Shinji just gave him a weak smile, gently squeezing his hand. "I'm not sure," he lied. I don't think I should tell him now, he's not ready.. "But it's okay, maybe doing that isn't totally clear sometimes. C'mon, I'll show you how to play a video game.."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Later that day, Misato came back while Shinji and Kaworu were curled up on a bunch of floor cushions in the front of the main room near the TV, Shinji showing Kaworu one of his manga books. When Shinji let her in, Misato nearly buried him in bags.  
  
"Well, I found him some clothes, " she stated, heading for the little kitchen while poor Shinji stumbled over, juggling his burdens. Kaworu trotted over to take a few from him, guiding him to where they'd been lounging so he could set them down.  
  
"I can see that! Wow Misato, did you buy out a store?!" Shinji asked as he joined her and Kaworu inspected a bag.  
  
"Nah, I just found some good sales. Today's Children's Day, you know. So kids' stuff is half-off." She cracked a can of coffee and took a deep drink. "Whew! Now that hit the spot!" Shinji grabbed a can of soda and parked it with her. "Thanks Misato, really. I didn't know where to start."  
  
The rustling of the bag had stopped and Kaworu startled Shinji with a box in front of his face. "'Niisan, what's this?"  
  
"Oh, that's a puzzle. Want me to open it for you?" The boy nodded. Shinji broke off the metal tab of his soda can and slid it around the edges of the box that were sealed then handed it back to the smiling boy. "Thank you 'niisan, but what do I do with it now?" Misato tried not to laugh at Shinji's look as he explained the purpose of a puzzle. When Kaworu went back by the bags to put it together on the floor, Shinji turned to Misato with a raised brow.  
  
"What? Oh come on, now that was just cute, admit it. So I got him a few toys too, what's the big deal?" she asked, shrugging and dismissing her charge's look.  
  
They spent the rest of the afternoon going through the stuff Misato had brought, mostly clothes and such for Kaworu but there were a few things for Shinji too. Kaworu had fun trying on some of his new outfits and Misato and Shinji taught him how to tie his new shoes. For dinner, Misato suggested they take Kaworu out for his first taste of pizza, picking a nice, quiet little place downtown. Kaworu had been quiet for the car trip there, just staring out at the nighttime cityscape of Tokyo-3 as it flashed by the windows of the backseat.  
  
Misato watched them all through dinner, occasionally catching Shinji pulling a slight silly face to make Kaworu laugh. She couldn't help but laugh herself at Shinji holding a mushroom in his teeth and crossing his eyes before swallowing it. Wow.. He's much happier already. Having Kaworu around.. It's good for him, I think.. I was starting to worry before..  
  
On the way home, Kaworu fell asleep in the back of the car and Shinji carried him up to their apartment, Misato getting the door for him. "Thanks. Oyasumi, Misato." He took Kaworu back to their bedroom, waking him just enough to slip on the t-shirt of his he'd slept in before. After Shinji had changed into his usual sleep clothes as well, he climbed into bed with Kaworu and clicked off the light. He wasn't all the way tired yet so he lay on his side, head propped on his arm, watching his young companion sleep.  
  
There was just enough natural moonlight through the window for Shinji to make out the slightly rumpled form next to him, lying on his back, gray haired head to the side, small mouth open just a bit. Shinji sighed. This is still a little hard to believe.. I keep wondering if I'm going to wake up to find that this was just a dream.. He reached out to gently rest a hand on Kaworu's belly, feeling him breathe. But it's definitely real.. Starting to feel tired now, Shinji absently rubbed Kaworu's stomach, yawning, until he drifted off.  
  
Feeling himself being shaken, Shinji dragged himself into consciousness to feel wetness on his face, hearing a rather upset Kaworu calling to him. "Oniisan.. Shinji! Wake up, please?!" Opening his eyes, Shinji saw Kaworu's shadowed face hanging over him. "What's the matter Kaworu-chan?" he yawned. A few drops hit him and he tasted salt when they found his mouth. He's crying? Concerned, Shinji sat up, turning on the light. Kaworu squinted, his eyes red, pale face flushed with emotion as he looked at Shinji and sniffed.  
  
"I-I had a bad dream.."  
  
With a sympathetic smile, Shinji wiped at Kaworu's tears. "I'm sorry. What was it about?" Kaworu crawled onto Shinji's lap to be held. "It was pretty bad.. And scary.."  
  
"It's okay, why don't you tell me?" After a few moments, Kaworu began, very softly, to relate his disturbing vision.  
  
"It was dark.. and cold. I couldn't move.. But I saw you and you were looking at me. I felt.. really small. I wanted to say something but I couldn't talk." He sniffed again. "Then-then you reached out and-and I thought you were going to help me.. but your hand was over my face.." He was shaking in Shinji's tense embrace. "And then.. it hurt so much! I couldn't yell at all.. and I woke up.." Rubbing his eyes, he looked up at Shinji, who seemed to stare into space. "Shinji.. what does it mean? I don't understand but it feels like I dreamed it before.."  
  
Not getting an answer, Kaworu got up on his knees to look Shinji in the eye, hands on his shoulders. "Oniisan!" He gave him a little shake, causing him to blink, a few tears running out. "Kaworu.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.." Shinji reached up to stroke Kaworu's face, holding it in both hands. He leaned in close, their foreheads touching. "I missed you.. I love you.." He could feel the boy's warm breath on his face, had seen his pale hair catch the moonlight, making it almost glow ethereally.  
  
Overcome, he moved to gently kiss him on the lips, hearing Kaworu's sudden intake of breath, neither of them pulling away. It was several moments later before Shinji broke their kiss to give the surprised boy a little smile, then held him close. "I don't want to ever let you go again.. but I can wait a little while longer for you to catch up to me." He felt Kaworu hug him back, felt him nuzzle his neck as he murmured, "I love you too Shinji.."  
  
Stroking Kaworu's soft hair, Shinji said softly, "This time, all I want is you.." Of course I can wait, we have all the time we need now.. He waited since he was born for me, after all.. In his mind, a familiar face in a small, dim bedroom smiled over at him, arms behind his head as he said in that soft, rich voice, "I think I was born to meet you!"  
  
~OWARI~  
  
Well, there it was, typed up on May 16'th 2003 for your reading enjoyment (hopefully?) Don't know where this came from really, but I saw a lot of doujinshi with nice art of Kaworu and Shinji in cute stories, plus the pics I drew, so maybe that explains it. Oh well, they're my favorite pairing and I always thought Kaworu would make a cute kid. (like Watari and Tsuzuki from the 'Yami no Matsuei' manga. They're changed into children in one story, thanks to Watari's latest 'experiment'. Kami-sama, I love that manga! And the anime ^^) Anyway, please review? Thanks for your time, ja ne! 


End file.
